Friday, October 01, 2010
#214: Theme From Dr Kildare
Which reminds me of a funny story – I’ve heard Fat Cat speak. In 1066 Fat Cat came to The Downs Primary School along with a few other idiots, for a fun day. People positioned themselves on classroom roofs and proceeded to begin to shoot ole Fat with slingshots. My brother had a lethal slingshot, one that any Downs Boy would remember with fondness – an industrial piece of rubber stretched as tight as possible over the usual slingshot metal. It shot horseshoe nails out at a speed that bordered on lethal – indeed I can recall shooting many a spoggie down dead as the nails would penetrate the skulls with such force that, on one memorable occasion, a head ended up nailed to a tree. Lice infested flying mice that they were, or so we were told. Anyway, ole Fat Cat was up on stage when my brother strategically positioned himself directly next to Fat Cats leg and began to shoot horseshoe nails up his shorts. It happened. The third shot made Fat Cat move and we heard an audible, “Jesus! Fucking Jesus!” Then, after the fifth shot hit it’s mark, Fat Cat leant down and hissed, “Look, you little cunt, if you don’t knock that off I’m gonna smash your fucking head in! Now piss off!”
And that’s how it should have been. At least if Arch threatened you then he was prepared to follow it up with a physical encounter. Today’s wanker hides behind a microphone and thinks that he’s just too good. They’re all puth.
And there endeth today’s lesson. Now get off my lawn!